This month has been intense for me and for my family. Winter always is, and February in particular. It's just the rhythm of our life and you'd think I'd grow accustomed to it over the years. Apparently I never do.
About a week ago, I made myself get dressed earlier than usual, put on happy earrings, open the curtains, breathe in the day....I heard myself say that His mercies are fresh every morning. And I claimed them, determined to stay on top of the day. The days have been even tougher than usual recently.
By evening I was sitting in my van, no longer fighting tears, and accusing the Lord - "Where are your mercies, now? Huh?!" I felt He was snatching them away one at a time as the day progressed until none were left. Waking up ready to face the day was the easy part. Surviving it was the hard part.
I should never be surprised when He answers me. But I was. "They are still here..."
His words slowly soaked into my hurting heart as I drove to my monthly homeschool meeting. I put in an ancient cassette tape and listened to songs of praise I'd sung many years ago, songs I had not heard in a while. Then I sang along (very glad He only needs a joyful noise because singing is not my strength!), and found that He was pouring mercy over me in ways I could not have imagined. In the innermost part of my being He met me and cared for me and filled me up.
The next day was much the same. And the next. I didn't have a meeting to go to, I didn't have the same song replaying....but I was hurting as each day ended and He was meeting me in sweet, unexpected ways. He was sustaining me, upholding me, loving me.
And He still is.
How have you experienced His mercy, His refreshing?
How do you keep going when it feels impossible?
I'd love to hear your experience...