13 March 2013

struggling

I'm struggling to find joy this week.

Shoot, I'm just struggling to find peace.
Last week's near-crisis left me in a deep stress that won't dissipate. I cannot get my head above water long enough to shake it all off. I am not alone long enough to work it through within me, to let my God heal my heart. My coping skills for the everyday things evade me. I feel like my world is crumbling around my feet and I can't find my footing, my stability.

What will I do?
My husband is encouraging me to get away this weekend. That is hard for me to do. But I will. Because I need to. And I am having to forget the budget to do it. I'm having to trust my husband to do my job (juggle four kids' - some with higher, very specific needs). And I am having to trust that it will be worth the time and effort. Trust that the Lord will meet me there, meet the needs of my heart.

What I long for is to bask in His presence. To soak in the life and the love of the One who loves me best. My heart is deeply drawn to the mountains. It always has been, and that's where I hope to escape to this weekend. Perhaps I will hike a little. Perhaps I will write on my current novel a little. But mostly I want be in this place that always draws my heart closer to Him.


This is deep and personal - so why post about it here?
Because I want to be open faced. I have discovered that open breeds open. That one heart open and willing to share encourages another to be open and willing to share.

So tell me, how are you this week? Happy? Hurting? Hopeful? I would love to know! 

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